I was bruised and battered, couldn't tell what I felt.

10,000 losses. Lordy. 

I think one of my formative Philly Phanatic memories is the Phanatic getting beat on by Tommy Lasorda in 1988. (Lasorda's side of things) Children thinking of running over effigies: he was kickin' it just for you!
(Tangentially, it's sad that  I missed this story.)
 
Hehe, no wait, it was seeing the Phils lose to the Pirates, live in Veterans Stadium. That game lasted forever, but that green guy was a ball of energy.
The last time I was in a baseball stadium was at a coorporate hospitality event in 2006 watching other scientists hit "home runs" off of tees in Safeco field. Well played, Thermo. Do some practicing, scientists!
 
Anyhow, congratulations on your new/disputed record,
Phillies Phranchise. 
oof. 

My condolences, city of Philidelphia
I love love love you, yes I do.